A Rose In Bloom

Better than I could be. Not as good as I’d planned.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Over too soon
Yesterday evening's laundry fest required that I shake all that was left from my beach vacation into the backyard. Saying goodbye to the sand that had made it's way home from the beach with me tucked in the folds of my towel and stuck to the bottom of my flip-flops made it abruptly clear--Vacation Over! I almost wish that I could take the relaxation that the weekend brought, bottle it up like my SPF 30 sunscreen and keep it in a cool, dry place until I needed it to be lathered over my body for protection. Protection from work and family and life. I slept like a baby Sunday night but already the knots in my shoulders and the tension in my jaw remind me that being back in the real world is not as fun and interesting as those seven strangers in the same house on TV make it look.

Despite all of that, all of the drama of life, I do live for the moments when all of it feels like maybe the tough stuff is really worth it if what you get in return are moments of joy with good friends.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

It was so much fun...until it wasn't
On Monday I pulled into the beer barn in town. After a friendly conversation about available products with the proprietor of the etablishment I drove out of the beer barn with a case of 40oz. bottles of Old English in my back seat.

That is by far the high point of the story.

The low point began when we actually started chugging down said malt liquor on my back porch last night. The results were not so pretty. In fact, it was down right ugly. Apparently it is common knowledge that malt liquor has a higher alcohol content than regular beer (which, as my co-worker informed me, is why the winos like it: more bang for your buck) but somehow I missed that memo.

It has been a very long day.

Lesson learned!

Friday, June 16, 2006

That's the thing about laughter....
It all seems so much easier to handle when you can laugh through most of it. My mom once told me that being able to laugh at yourself is one of the greatest traits anyone can have. I agree, whole-heartedly. Only topped by being able to laugh at yourself (and eachother) with your friends. A friend who I don't get to see often was in town last weekend and we hung out each night. And she makes me laugh out loud. All of the time. It's the greatest medicine.

Actually, I have laughed all week. The company I'm keeping these days makes that a given. I've laughed the out loud, bent over, slapping my thigh, mascara in my eye kind of laughter that makes my cheeks hurt and my sides ache and the calories in the chocolate cupcakes seem nonexistent. I've laughed over nothing and everything and a million other tidbits that, if the truth be told, wouldn't even be funny the second time around. But in those minutes, in the company of good people, it doesn't get any better than the laughter.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

The rest is still unwritten
I was reading another blog a few days ago and the writer said something that really resonated with me. As you can probably tell, I've been a little unmotivated over the past few months and have found it difficult to put pen to paper (fingers to keys?) when it comes to writing down anything of substance on the blog. For a while I blamed it on work. And while that blame does hold true (the exhaustion was real people) it is by no means the only reason. Truth be told...I got nothing. Things don't seem blog worthy these days. Everything is just...normal. Which, as I have mentioned before, is good in a very general sense but not so good when we all know that good blogging thrives on motivation.

But that's where the good advice kicks in.

When I moved back to Texas and away from the glitz and glammer of my big city life (ha!), where each day really was an adventure, I mean nothing beats catching a train right as you walk onto the platform, I just lost a little of the spark when it came to journaling my life. I know that the pressure is self-inflicted but that's what I've got. And it's exhausting, always worrying about what to write and then stressing because nothing actually got written. But The Fish spoke the words of wisdom and motivation I think I needed to hear, she basically said that sometimes she writes as if she is just telling a story to a good girlfriend and usually it all comes out ok. Now that, the storytelling-letting it all hang out-makes me laugh until me sides hurt-or cry until they hurt for different reasons kind of writing, that I can do. And I think I will. At least I'm gonna give it a try.

So let's see how that works, shall we?

Monday, June 05, 2006

What a difference a year makes
June 1st marked one year since I left New York. It feels like it was a lifetime ago and, in many ways, it was in fact another life. I do miss it, some days more than others. I miss the things I did, I miss my friends, I miss the person I grew to be there, I miss the pizza. But life back in Texas is good, it feels good, for now. I still have no clue where I am "meant to be" in the grand scheme of things. The pace of life in the two cities I love couldn't be more different. It's like comparing a yacht and a sailboat (although I have no idea which is which in that statement) but they feel different in so many ways, it would be impossible to really put it in words. I will easily admit that I am feeling a lot more content in my life here now than I was just a few months ago. It's nice. I'm looking foward to the what-comes-next part of life but it's nice to be comfortable in the place you are in.