Earlier today I saw a little girl resting comfortably in her daddy's lap. Her tiny arms were locked firmly around his neck and her head was settled softly upon his shoulder with her eyes peering out at the world over his muscled arm. For a brief moment, as I stared at this beautiful child laying securely against the chest of her protector, I wanted to be her. I wanted to be small enough to crawl into my mommy's lap and nuzzle my cold child nose into the warm folds of her soft mommy neck and close my eyes and dream. Dream of ice cream cones and fluffy, bunny shaped clouds. Of warm summer breezes and new toys on Christmas morning. Of sparkly white tennis shoes for the first day of school and birthday cakes with pink candles. I wanted to feel her chest and mine rise and fall in the same synchronized motion that I can still remember whlie she rubbed my back and played with my hair and sang songs to me that only the two of us can recall now. I wanted to smile a crooked-tooth smile and laugh a high-pitched child laugh without a care in the world full of the certainty that there was no better place on earth than being right where I was. How I long to settle in to that familiar place where I felt safe and everything seemed possible. Where disappointment faded as fast as summer afternoon sunburns and I knew for sure, that no matter how many times I cried for no reason or didn't eat my peas, that I was loved. Somedays that is really all I want, to crawl into my mommy's lap...and dream...