"I don't think worker's comp covers stupid!"
I know that I shouldn't act like a child at work. But I work at a university and pretty much we all act like children because that is who we deal with everyday. So in that environment, island surfing isn't such an unusual occurance. And usually, usually I am pretty damn good at it. In fact, I am the champ of sorts in our office. I can cover more countertop ground than anyone else around. But on Wednesday my form was off and the running start and leap onto the counter resulted in hitting my thigh on the ledge of the counter. And I knew immedietly that it was going to leave a bruise. What I didn't know at the time was the extent of that bruise. In true Ebony fashion, I have a bruise that is so large and so discusting that everyone I have shown it to has taken a picture, my mother took two. I had to leave work early on the day of the injury because the swelling was protruding through my jeans like a newly forming tumor. By the time I got home and removed my jeans the lump was roughly the size of a half a cantalope. As we stand today, the lump is about orange size (even smaller than the grapefuit size of yesterday) and the color is a lovely mix of eggplant, raspberry and blueberry. The bruising extends from my inner thigh to the outside of my thigh and from my knee to my hipbone. I have worn the same stretchy pants two days ina row because nothing else will fit over the lump and even when it does, the pressure is just a little more than I can bear.

It's just so appropriate that such a small collision with a tiny counter ledge should result in an injury that looks like I have been beaten with a metal bat. Even for me, this is one for the record books.