A Rose In Bloom

Better than I could be. Not as good as I’d planned.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Back to the Daily Grind
After surviving orientation week it's all back. Classes started on Monday.

That means:
I have no where to park.
Our office is LOUD!
I get to eat lunch for free. And the Starbucks, that's free too.
People are already working on my last nerve.
I'm tired, with reason now.
My to-do list never actually gets to-done, only postoned until tomorrow.
The students make me laugh until my sides hurt.

I suppose the pro/con list is balanced.

Monday, August 21, 2006

"A Rose in Bloom" Permanently
I finally did it. I'm not just all talk anymore. While I was out with the girls on Saturday night, after two cherry cokes and a glass of Angel Belly wine, the five of us j-walked our way across South Congress and right into a tattoo shop. I've been thinking about it for much longer than I care to admit but Saturday was the night it all came together. And now I am forever branded with an ebony rose. It is tastefully placed on the upper-left quadrant of my backside and is about the size of a post-it note. The next time you see me, if you ask really nicely, I may even let you have a peek in person.

(Note: The reddish hue is not actual color, just my poor skin freaking out after being poked with a million little needle holes. Once it's all healed it will really just be an ebony rose, in bloom.)

Friday, August 18, 2006

The Scent of Nostalgia
There is something about the smell of pencil shavings that makes me yearn for elementary school.

I was walking through Target today when the smell of the school supplies literally stopped me in my tracks. There is no other smell in the world like the smell of a box of Crayons. It is that distinct. My niece started pre-kindergarten this week and just watching how excited she was about everything-lunch time and nap time and puzzles and names on desks-brought me the greatest feeling. I remember the excitement I always had for my first day of school. Packing my backpack the week before just to make sure I didn't foregt anything. Laying out the perfect outfit the night before becase how I looked on day one was of the utmost importance. My mom always made us a big breakfast that first day. It all feels like ages ago.

Tomorrow starts my first day of school at work. All of the first year students move in and the next week is a crazy busy schedule as my office handles all of the first year orientation week programming. I'm looking forward to it. I'm already fielding phone calls from excited kids and nervous parents. Our office has been getting ready all week-finalizing contracts, painting signs, making nametags and welcome packets. Even at this age there is still so much excitement for the students going back to school.

Knowing that I've chosen this profession and that for many years to come I'll get to have this experience each year is exciting. The feeling really is very nostalgic.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

My 26th birthday has come and gone. I don't necessarily feel older just more at ease with an even digit year. The celebration was fantastic! My friends showed their love in droves with yummy food, tasty martinis and fabulous presents the thanks for which can not be expressed in words. I needed that. Truth be told, my birthday couldn't have come at a more appropriate time.

I feel like this birthday brings with it the need for a resolution. Perhaps even resolutions, plural. Things aren't good. Well, that isn't entirely true. I mean, some things are good but there are a lot of things that have finally caught up with me. After a pretty dramatic breakdown last week I've realized that the way I choose to deal with my life isn't always healthy. I seem to walk a fine line between always looking for the positives in my life and ignoring and hiding from the bad which only means that the bad stuff isn't going away, it just isn't being dealt with and that has gotten me no where. Well, see, that isn't entirely true either. It's been my coping mechanism my whole life and so far it's carried me through some pretty tough situations. I've always just sort of thought that If I can make everyone around me think that I've really got my shit together well then maybe I do. But my path over the last year has put me in an environment where everything is heightened. All of the junk that I used to be able to ignore or hide from is right there, staring me down, all of the time. There are people in my life who are making me question things, hard questions that I don't know the answers to. Or, more appropriately, that I don't want to answer at all because the truth hurts.

So, that said, twenty-six isn't so much about the fun of the birthday as it is about the start of the journey. I've decided to take some real steps towards being the person I always claim I am. I want to be whatever that means and more. I want to be better to myself, to my family, to my friends. I want to lay down at night and be able to sleep, the lost in your dreams all night, peaceful kind of sleep I haven't had in ages. I want to set some real goals on where I want to be in my life in a year, two years, five years. And I want to make sure that the way that I get there is healthy and happy and fulfilling.

If I'm starting the honesty thing for real I guess this would be a good time to tell the universe how scared and freaked out I am. But, the journey begins with the courage to step off the cliff and be confident that you'll learn to fly in the process. So, here it goes...

Thursday, August 03, 2006

When I moved to New York in 2003 I opened up a bank account with Citibank. They kind of sucked but what could I do, I had a no fee student account that served me well (until I tried to close it and all hell broke loose, I'll be damned if they were gonna charge me to have my own money!) Anyway, I digress.

When I opened the account I opted for the American Airlines debit card. For a fee of $25 a year I earned one airline mile for every two dollars I spent. In hind sight I should have realized that I was never going to spend enough money to add up to a romantic Parisian vacation but at the time it seemed like a good idea because I knew that I would be flying home for visits and free airline miles to Texas were certainly more practical. Fast forward two years when I am all done with New York and done with the mile rewarding debit card. I never redeemed any of the miles. I was out $50.

Until about a month ago.

I got a letter in the mail from the airline people telling me I had all of these miles just hanging around in my name and although those miles were not worthy of actual flight they were eligible for redemption...in the form of magazine subscriptions. So I went magazine shopping, adding up my unused miles as I went, and received my first issue in the mail today.

In case you were wondering, I subscribed to five different magazines: Bon Appetit, Latina, Lucky, Newsweek and W. I wonder what kind of assumptions the redemptioan person made about me just by looking at my selections...pretty interesting thought.